So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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