he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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