I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
