apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize