Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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