Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Fuck appropriateness.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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