Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
