So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
