come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
