my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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