This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
