Ambien. No doubt about it.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
