You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
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