My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
