i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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