guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
