There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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