forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
