if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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