You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
