I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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