I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
