i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
