it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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