Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
