Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
