You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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