You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
