Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
