Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
