I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Who died my cat blue again?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
