Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
