Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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