The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
