If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize