Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
