omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
