I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The Olympian is in my bed
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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