Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
