Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She's JV to your varsity
well you can't waste a boner
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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