He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Everclear isn't food dammit
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
