what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
