Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize