let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
