Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
