we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
