I could make wine with my vomit
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
