what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
