Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
