I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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