I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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