ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
