i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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