ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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