just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
