we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
