My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
