i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
