When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I think i got beer on your cat.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
